Still Missing You...

It has been a month since I last saw you. One month, and yet it feels like it has been a lot longer than that.  Okay lang sana if I'm in PH and you're in UAE,  Kaso mas mahirap pala yung hindi kayo nagkikita kahit magkalapit lang kayo.

You're in the US now. And the last time we talked was Tuesday last week. Nah, today. Kasi for the first time after you said goodbye, ako ang kumausap sayo na una.  Hindi ko na natiis. I need to know how you're doing, though I already know that you are a lot happier now.  You said you've been sick since last week and I got worried. I wanted to fly to you to take care of you. But of course I won't do that...not because I don't want to, but it's because it's not me you want to be there with you. 

Habang lumilipas ang mga araw, lalo ko nararamdaman na lumalayo ka sakin. Each time I would see the photos that you like on FB (stalker mode), I feel bad. Why? Kasi parang ikaw pa ang hurt, parang ikaw pa ang iniwan..parang ikaw pa ang dehado.  Why do you keep doing this to me?  Gusto ko magalit na ng tuluyan sayo, but I can't bring myself to doing it.  Each day, I still choose to understand you and forgive you, even if you are not sorry. I pray for you everyday. that you would find the peace of mind you are looking for.  But I think, you already have it...now that I am no longer in your life.  I'm guessing that perhaps by now, you just think of how you can break up with me totally.  Because you want me out of your life permanently.  I don't know what I will do if one day you'll talk to me and ask for the annulment.  Baka hindi ko kayanin.  But I will try.  Kasi mahal kita. I can't deny that fact. Mahal na mahal kita kaya kakayanin kong mawala ka basta maging masaya ka.  I guess that's the only think I can do for you now.

I won't deny that each night I still pray for you to come back to me.  And when that time comes, we will work hard together to stay together no matter what. Kaso at this point, nakikita ko na wala na pag-asa.  I feel that you just want me to get used to not having you around because you no longer have an intention of coming back.  

I wish this hurting would stop soon.  And I wish I could just let go of you once and for all.